Hi. I'm Brendan Francis O'Connor.

Are you tired of knowing everything, having people ignore 'the security person' because 'reasons,' and then having 'I told you so' as your only comfort? Sick of the hostile relationship between security and development, security and operations, security and HR, and/or security and everyone not wearing a black t-shirt? There’s a better way. Faced with the challenge of building a security function into a society that wasn’t sure it wanted one (but which nonetheless needed it), Charles Rowan and Richard Mayne set out what became known as the Peelian Principles of Policing, or Policing by Consent. They provide an effective model for running a security group that stands with its organization, rather than against it. We are, after all, 'only members of the public who are paid to give full-time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the intent of the community welfare.' Join us to become a security Bobby—where a commitment to service is non-optional, but the silly hat’s only needed if you like it.

Tired of the government being the only entity around that can keep tabs on a whole city at once? Frustrated by dictators du jour knowing more about you than you know about them? Fed up with agents provocateur slipping into your protests, rallies, or golf outings? Suffer no more, because CreepyDOL is here to help! With open-source software, off-the-shelf sensors, several layers of encryption, and a deployment methodology of 'pull pin, point toward privacy insurance claimant,' it allows anyone to track everyone in a neighborhood, suburb, or city from the comfort of their sofa. For just four easy hardware purchases of $131.95, you, too can move up from small-time weirding out to the big leagues of total information awareness: deploy CreepyDOL today!

Are you a person with a few hundred dollars and an insatiable curiosity about your neighbors who is fed up with the hard work of tracking your target's every move in person? Good news! You, too, can learn the intimate secrets and continuous physical location of an entire city from the comfort of your desk! CreepyDOL is a distributed sensing and data mining system combining very-low-cost sensors, open-source software, and a focus on user experience to provide personnel identification, tracking, and analysis without sending any data to the targets. In other words, it takes you from hand-crafted, artisan skeeviness to big-box commodity creepiness, and enables government-level total awareness for about $500 of off-the-shelf hardware.